How to Restore Your Internet Connection in 20 Easy Steps

1. When your 5-year-old PC gets so overrun by spyware that you can't even connect to the internet, back up all your files.
2. Reformat your computer using the recovery CD that came with it; the computer should now be as it was the day you received it.
3. Pop your Ethernet LAN card installation CD into the CD drive and keep clicking "next" when it autoruns.
4. Realise that you have misplaced your WinPoet 5.0 connection manager installation CD, and contact the local distributor to get a replacement at S$15.
   
5. Pop the replacement WinPoet 5.0 CD into the CD drive and keep clicking "next" until it prompts you to insert your Windows98 Second Edition CD.
6. Realise you do NOT have a Windows98 Second Edition CD because your Win98 SE is archived with other programs in the recovery CD.
7. Click on "skip file" for all the files that you don't have because you don't have the Win98 SE CD, and try running the WinPoet manager after it finishes installing. Find that it cannot run without those files.
8. Call the local WinPoet distributor and ask what to do. Feel frustrated when they ask you to borrow a Win98 SE CD, because no-one you know uses Win98 SE anymore.
9. Using a computer in school, register with driverguide.com and download some missing drivers. Get the remaining drivers in .zip format from another site.
10. Once you're home, uninstall and re-install WinPoet with the drivers you have downloaded.
11. Run WinPoet. You'll see an error message saying the secur32.dll is linked to some file that is missing.
12. Go back to school to look for the correct version of secur32.dll on the net.
13. Replace the secur32.dll file in your windows/system directory with the correct one.
14. Run WinPoet. You'll get error message 630: the port was disconnected due to hardware failure.
15. Run WinPoet help to learn that error 630 occurs when trying to connect when WinPPPoverEthernet.exe is not running or is not fully loaded.
16. Go to Control Panel and add/remove devices. Notice that the Ethernet adaptor has been identified but is not functioning, even though you ran the installation CD in step 3!!
17. Click on "update driver" and browse the installation CD till you find the Win98 directory. Get the file from there.
18. Go through the same rigmarole of missing files, but this time, with the knowledge that most Win98 drivers are stored in windows/system, enter that directory under the "search" field. Many of the "missing" files will now be found.
19. There will still be missing files; ignore them.
20. Once the driver has been updated, run WinPoet. Congratulations! You can now connect to the internet from home once again, after one month.